Love Addict and Love Cynic take on: Hallmark’s Hearts of Spring

Photo: Michael Shanks, Lisa Whelchel Credit: Copyright 2016 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Ricardo Hubbs

Photo: Michael Shanks, Lisa Whelchel
Credit: Copyright 2016 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Ricardo Hubbs

A famous mommy blogger faces an empty nest as her daughter prepares to go away to college. When she turns to her blog for advice, she finds herself on the attack by a reader who has conflicting opinions. While she deals with him online, offline she finally meets a great single dad and sparks start to fly. What she doesn’t know is that the confrontational reader and the adorable single dad are, in fact, the same person.

SPOILER ALERT: The Love Addict and The Love Cynic dish on romantic relationships in TV and movies. We’ll be analyzing all the ups and downs of each couple, which entails discussing key plot points. Warning: THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD.

 

 

Love Addict Love Addict: Hearts of Spring is The Hallmark Channel’s new movie starring Lisa Whelchel (OMG—Blair!) as mom-blogger Carly and Michael Shanks as pediatrician Andy. I don’t actually know who he is, other than he’s a hottie of an age-appropriate single dad and I wish he’d bump into me as I go about my single mom routine: school drop-offs, school pickups, groceries, errands, piano lessons, karate, playdates, parks…

 

Love Cynic Love Cynic: He’s an actor, he’s married, and you’re never going to find a guy when you’ve got the routine of a married woman. He is age-appropriate, though. And hot.

 

Love Addict Love Addict: Sometimes I work in coffee shops. Maybe the perfect guy will stroll in someday.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: And be scared off by you talking to yourself while you work.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: I’m a writer. That’s my characters talking. Anyway…

 

THE MEET-CUTE

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Adorable! Andy spots her in line at the taco truck and is totally checking her out like, “Hey, who’s this beautiful age-appropriate woman with great taste in food?” Then he sits one bench over from her and spills taco on his shirt. Carly thinks he’s cute.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: The man is in his forties and hasn’t yet figured out how to eat a taco. We’re supposed to find that charming? Life of cleaning up after Sir Slobs-a-Lot coming up. He’s a Fixer-Upper Forget It.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Whatevs. Next they meet for realz at her flower shop.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Good. I was wondering how she paid the bills on her ginormous house as a blogger. Writing is not that remunerative.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Shush. Look at how awkward and nervous he is talking to her. THAT IS SO FREAKING CUTE. I’m already in love.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: I agree. My heart melted. You can tell he’s waaayyy out of practice. That means he hasn’t been using his sad-single-dad schtick as date bait.

 

 

THE COMPLICATION

 

Love AddictLove Addict: The mom of his brattiest patient said she got her parenting philosophy from the blog “Bestie Mom” and Andy logs in as “Juggling Dad” to refute her ideas about raising children with no rules. He doesn’t know it’s Carly’s blog. Uh-oh. The romantic conflict is a-brewing.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Did he just call her “Beastie Mom” without reading her posts? And what’s with his auto-reject of veganism? Now he’s making fun of her parenting philosophy and acting all superior. This guy has some serious anger issues. And notice he’s letting out his real feelings as an anonymous commenter on a website rather than confront his patient’s mom in person. Totally passive-aggressive. Next!

 

Love AddictLove Addict: He’s letting off a little steam by commenting on a blog. Big deal. It’s better than a porn habit.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Good point.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: And he’s raised a great kid. So has she. They can work out the kinks in their parenting differences.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Now everyone’s telling her how sexy the banter is between Bestie Mom and Juggling Dad. They’re arguing—why’s that supposed to mean great chemistry?

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Remember that guy we bantered with? Crazy chemistry.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Crazy chemistry was all we had. In every other way, we were a mismatch. I’m taking points away. Angry banter is on my list of warning signs, not soul mate signs.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Banter isn’t bad. Maybe it just needs to be fun-banter and not angry-banter.

 

 

THE FIRST KISS

 

Love AddictLove Addict: You could feel how much they care about each other already, right? … Right? You’re not saying anything, Cynic. And you look like you’re having a hot flash.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Wow. We should find Crazy Chemistry guy again.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: I’m holding out for true love.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: That’s why we’re home on Saturday night watching Hallmark movies.

 

 

THE BIG BLACK MOMENT

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Andy finds out that Carly is Bestie Mom. I love, love, love that he’s worried about her feelings and not about their differences of opinion. He knows they can work that stuff out.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Are you kidding me? He totally wusses out! He doesn’t call, he doesn’t text. And now with the big waah-waah, I got scared and lost my big boy panties sorry-not sorry you got hurt.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: People make mistakes.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Forty-something people who can’t have a hard conversation are Not Worth It. Oh wait, he’s doing the dishes. Man, that’s sexy.

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Oh no, she found out he’s Juggling Dad!

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: Good for her for walking out on the wuss. He should have been honest.

 

 

THE RESOLUTION

 

Love AddictLove Addict: Public mea culpa and declaration. Friendship and love. Hand over the tissues, I’m done.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: You know it’s true love when strangers are cheering your passionate kiss. Puh-leeze.

 

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

 

Love AddictLove Addict: For sure. Those two are perfect for each other, same values and similar lifestyles, but with enough differences of opinions to keep things interesting. She’ll lighten him up and he’ll keep her grounded.

 

Love CynicLove Cynic: They’ll be in couples counseling within two months after all the angry banter over merging his black cabinets and black window shades and dark woods with her white-and-cream girlie girl style.

 

Rating: heart heart heart heart

 

JenSavalli-webThe Love Addict and the Love Cynic are two of the voices inhabiting the head of Jennifer Savalli. Some of the other voices got together and created the laugh-out-loud funny paranormal mysteries MUST LOVE GHOSTS and THE EXORCIST WHO LOVED ME.

 

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